Roller Coaster Ride - Discriptive Writing

Describing a Scary
Roller Coaster Ride

We are currently learning to describe settings and characters.

We have been doing this by considering what we notice with our 5 senses, and to think carefully 

about the choices of language (language features) that we use to 'paint a picture' with our words.

To begin our latest piece of writing we watched these two videos....

We stopped after the first 20 seconds of the first video to discuss how we would be feeling at this point and what our senses would be noticing.  We discussed our level of tension at this point and the language we could use to help us to share this with our audience.

We then watched the next video...


Miss White asked us to watch the boys facial expressions and body language very carefully.
Which things in particular 'show' you how he is feeling?
Your audience for your story can't see a video of your writing.
Which words are you going to use to help them see this picture in their heads with such detail?





Wasn't that video gorgeous!  Miss White loves watching it.  The boys feelings are very obvious to see and we can very clearly identify when his feelings change by his facial expressions (pure fear in his eyes/laughing) and his body language (gripping the bar for dear life/not capable of answering his companion).  It is a very expressive video.

Room 2 was then asked to write a piece of writing describing a roller coaster ride, through making connections to your own experiences, making connections to these feelings and/ or using the boys own experience.

Reports

We are learning about writing reports.

We looked at the structure of a report (see Writing Fun Website).

                                                                     A report has:

                                                         * A heading

                                                         * An introduction

                                                         * Body of text, which includes

                                                             -Subheadings

                                                             -Detail/Supportive information

                                                             -Facts/Data

                                                         * A conclusion

We then viewed the various examples of reports given.

The children were asked to find some order to the 6 samples, identifying elements of a report in the samples and deciding what made one sample better written than another.

In the next couple of days Miss White asked us to identify some headings that may be included in a report on a species.

We came up with:

*Group/Name (Classification)

*Features

*Habitat

*Environment

*Predators

*Food

Miss White informed us that we were going to write our first report on a species very well known to us all

-  The human species.

In fact, our first reports were going to be written about ourselves.

And it should be a great report because we already knew all of the information we would need for our report.

Here are some of our reports.

Ourselves

Wilson

Grace

Tessa

Ryan

Persuasive Language - Advertising

 

The Senior School's major focus in writing this term is:

 Persuasive Writing.

We have learnt about the structure of a piece of persuasive writing.

For the last week of the term we have planned for a bit of fun with this topic.

We watched the advertisement for the Aqua Laser Mop below.

After watching the video we discussed techniques and strategies 

that the advertisers used to try and persuade/encourage 

their viewers to buy their product.

We discussed:

*The use of comparisons.

 *The use of targeting emotions.

*The use of listing all of the benefits of the product.

*The benefits of including information that will support your cause, 

but choosing to omit information that may not help to support it...

Advertising Our Products

The children have been asked to sketch and create (if possible) 

a household product that has been altered to be much improved.

Next the children will write and create video advertisements 

(using what they know of persuasive language) to convince 

their audience why they should 'purchase their product'.

Keep watching this space for some of our advertisements.

Does He Nail It?

1. As we did in our last writing activity, before watching this video we

considered the setting and characters involved in it.

We then watched the video for 13 seconds before Miss White paused it.

2. We considered the actions and emotions of the character during this part of the video.

We noted that the character has attempted the skateboarding maneuver once already and has returned to attempt it again.

3. We were asked to develop our character and write

what we thought the character would do next.

View the YouTube video here.

“Come on,” I say. “I can do it.”

My friends are yelling at me saying, “You can do it. You can do it.”

It’s only a straight, I tell myself. So, I put my foot on the ground

and head off. Suddenly I get the butterflies, so I stop. I go back to where I started and try again.

I put my foot on the ground and set off again. I’m nearly there, I say to myself. I made it. I go down the hill. I’m going really fast.

I hit the wall and fall on the ground on the other side of it. Ouch!

- Olivia

“Go, go, go! You can do it, Josh! Go!”

There I am, standing in the crowd cheering on my brother. But today not many people are here. Only me, my family and a few people we don’t know. There is grunting and huffing coming from the skaters, but Josh must have butterflies in his stomach because his legs are shaking. I wonder what he is thinking about. Does he want to become a pro-skater or does he think it is all fun and games? I take a breath. I think, what if he fa- “Ouch!”

“Josh? Josh!? Are you OK?” I run to him.

It turns out that he smacked right into a concrete wall. I ask, “Are you all right, Josh?” My mum looks really worried. She wants to ring the ambulance but Josh said “It’s OK, Mum. It’s OK.”

When we got home he put an icepack on his head and some bandages on his legs. The next day he was find but he didn’t go to school – hmmph, lucky him!

- Nishat

I can do it! What if I fall off my board and hit the concrete? I could hurt and embarrass myself. Focus! Ok, the wheels of the board are rolling fast now. Oh, no! The pole. I’m going to hit it! Just as I almost put my foot down I heard Tom and my friends cheer. I stop and do it again. I go back down the ramp..yes I’m there, turn, turn, turn. NO! Too late. I hit the top of my board with my left foot, flip off my board and literally flip over the concrete. My board came halfway over the wall then fell.

- Piper

So many possible (con)versions

- Motivation for a quick writing activity -

We watched this YouTube Video of Daniel Carter kicking a conversion.

First we watched the first 5 seconds and then Miss White paused the video.

We used this scene to initiate our writing, helping us to introduce our setting and character to our audience.

Then we watched the next 15 seconds and Miss White paused the video again.

We considered the atmosphere in the video, the emotions of our character (Daniel Carter), his team mates and the crowd, and what senses our character would be using at this moment.

However, before Miss White played the final part of this video we were asked to predict what would come next and use this to complete the rest of our writing.

Here are some samples of what we produced...

I'm facing the goalposts, kneeling. The wind rushes past me. I'm ready to kick so I stand up and step back. The crowd's noise is drowned out by my heartbeat. Suddenly a cold wind rushes over me. What if I miss? What if I kick it too far to the left?

I jog up, swing my left foot back and kick the ball. The ball whizzes through the air. It goes straight through the middle! A sudden warmth sweeps over me. "Yes!" I scream and the rest of the team whoops and yells behind me".

- Hone

There is electricity all around me. All eyes turn to one person. Me. My heart is pounding. I hope I get this goal. My skin is wriggling. It smells a bit like beer. I know I can do it. Yes, I can. Is it going? Is it going? It’s gone over! Wow! I’ve done it again. The team is screaming.

- John

As I'm running I can hear everyone screaming in the Vector Arena Stadium. I quickly kick the ball. My heart is pumping as I watch it fly towards the goal posts. The crowd is screaming at me. "Go!" they yell. Can I get this goal for my team?

"I can do it," I whisper to myself. It goes over the goal posts. "Yay!" I yell and jump with pride. "We won!"

- Nikita S

I’m kicking the ball to win for the Crusaders. The crowd is going wild. Bang! I kick it. The crowd aren’t very happy with that kick. But wait, its turning back to the goalpost and…it’s in! The crowd are cheering as loud as they can. We win!

- Rowan

We have been learning how to introduce a setting and character to our audience through showing not telling.

The Frog and the Waterfall.

Lots of leaves and plants rustling in the wind, brushing against whoever walks past, like it’s trying to stop them. Tramping on muddy ground near jagged rough cliffs, the sound of splashing grows stronger until there’s a thin white stream of water tumbling down off the cliff edge into a big brown pond. What a sight.

The wind blows making the leaves and plants gently sway side to side. By a muddy trail there’s a flow of water lazily running down the edge of jagged cliffs, pouring down into a murky brown pond.

Sitting on a branch near this beautiful sight is a lonely red-eyed tree frog. Jumping from branch to branch with its sticky red, webbed feet and powerful bluish back legs, his slippery leafy green skin turns into a blur as he quickly hops to his favourite spot to admire the astonishing view.

The tiny tree frog watches the sun set with its reflection in the pond. ‘Bizz buzzes’, the frog’s eyes are fixed onto a passing fly. Suddenly a pink, sticky beam shoots out and traps the struggling bug. SNAP!

By Deone