Wednesday, May 11, 2011

'My Exciting Moment' - Melissa's Personal Experience Writing

Personal Experience Writing

Here I go.  I’m coming up to the finish line.  I can hear the people cheering my name, GO MELISSA!  

My little heart is beating as fast as a drum.   I slow down but someone passes me so I get some speed and BOOM I’m as fast as lightning.  Soon as I know it I am in front. The cheering gets louder.  Here I go, faster and faster….    BOOM!  I pass the finish line, 1st.  I taste victory!  

When I get back to the deck my friends congratulate me.  Later the next day in assembly I get a trophy.  I am so excited that at the end of the day I rush home. When I get into mum’s bedroom I collapse on her bed and when I tell her she almost faints with excitement.            

 - Melissa

1 comment:

Mr Baylis said...

Well Done Melissa!!

What a wonderful piece of writing!! And you have used some wonderful descriptive language in there, that has created a very clear picture in my mind.

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