Class Conferencing - Description - Joel's Writing

Our writing focus for this term is: Description.
As a class we discussed what description is and why its important to include it in our writing to enable our audience to get a picture in their heads from our words.

The children next choose one of the four topics given to them...
* Something that happened over the Christmas holidays
* My favourite Christmas present
* My first day at school
* My favourite toy
...and wrote about it, remembering what their focus is.


Joel offered to have his writing conferenced by the class.
Here is his original piece of writing.
His writing was then edited by the class for further description (in blue)
and he continued to edit his writing himself to make it more descriptive (in red.)
This is his more descriptive piece of writing.

Thanks for sharing your writing with us, Joel!